Relationship OCD (ROCD) or OCD in relationships?
If you are reading this, chances are, you fit into one, or multiple of the following buckets. An individual experiencing OCD, a loved one supporting someone experiencing OCD or a clinician or researcher, interested in the topic. How Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) can have an impact on relationships is well documented and established. OCD can interfere with all types of relationships. Including, but not limited to friendships, colleagues and co-workers, family, classmates and peers. Often, OCD shows up in multiple relationships.
Even when OCD is showing up and impacting these relationships, this is usually not what we commonly refer to when we discuss the topic of relationship OCD. Relationship OCD is commonly used when discussing obsessive-compulsive symptoms presenting in a romantic relationship. Relationship OCD typically shows up in one of two categories.
The first category is relationship rightness. Individuals experiencing these symptoms will have a fixation on determining if the relationship feels right and is the right relationship. This commonly includes questions similar to the following: Is this the right relationship? Does my partner really love me? What if I’m in the wrong relationship? Do I love them enough? The general population can experience these questions in and of themselves, however people that have OCD experience these more frequently and more intensely and they can cause significant distress.
Partner-focused is the second category. Symptoms in this category are comprised of obsessions and fixation with the attributes, characteristics and traits of a partner. Some common doubts and fears in this category include: Maybe I could have found a better partner, maybe they are not funny enough, their laugh is annoying, and what if they are not tall enough.
Individuals experiencing ROCD symptoms can experience one or both of the subtypes of ROCD.
Exposure and Response Prevention, ERP is the front-line treatment for OCD, additionally, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioral (CBT) approaches have been shown as evidenced based approaches to treating relationship OCD.
As a starting place, there are two great books to learn more about this subtype as well as one on how OCD can present in relationships. The first is: Relationship OCD: A CBT-Based guide to Move Beyond Obsessive Doubt, Anxiety and Fear of Commitment in Romantic Relationships by Sheva Rajaee, LMFT and the second is Thriving in Relationships When You Have OCD: How to Keep Obsessions and Compulsions from Sabotaging Love, Friendship, and Family Connection by Dr. Amy Mariaskin.
While OCD has been shown to be a chronic condition, meaning, there is no official cure. There is relief from symptoms and treatment can allow individuals to live a life on their terms and values, rather than on the rules and demands of OCD. If you or a loved one are experiencing OCD symptoms, there is support.